Scotland So Far

Edinburgh as seen from the inside of the castle

I've been in Scotland for just over 3 weeks now,  which is a pretty crazy thought, because it honestly feels like I've been here for a few months. I'm not quite sure it feels real yet, though - May seems like a very long ways away, and the fact that I'll be staying here until then is really daunting, so I try not to think about it. 

I spent a long time thinking about what I wanted to write in my very first post from Scotland, and how I wanted to say it. This trip honestly didn't start out the way I had hoped it would - namely, it started with a whole lot of tears and wondering what I had gotten myself into. I have since settled down a bit, though I want to record everything as honestly as possible. 

I think the value in recording how I'm experiencing Edinburgh honestly is twofold. One: it will help me to remember it correctly in the future, which is important, and Two: if someone else who I know is not loving or, in the future does not love, their study abroad experience, I hope that knowing that someone they know struggled as well will be helpful! There's a lot of pressure, I think, to love every single second of studying abroad. Everyone tells you that it's going to be the best time of your life, that you're going to miss it more than anything when you come home. I guess I think it's really important to acknowledge that not every second abroad is going to be absolutely incredible, and that sometimes it takes a while for you to feel okay in a new place. That being said, what follows is a mostly honest account of my first few weeks of being in Edinburgh + a bunch of really cool photos I took! If you don't feel like reading everything, I still encourage skimming through the photos! This is a really beautiful place (especially when the sun is out).

the view from my hotel room at orientation. that's the castle in the back, and grassmarket street in the front

The hardest thing for me has been accepting the whole "here until late May" thing. Edinburgh is insanely beautiful and the people are lovely and my classes are good too - it's just knowing how far away I am from home and how long I'll be this far from home that really freaks me out. When I first got here that was all I could think about, and it made it really hard for me to enjoy the city. 

I arrived a few days before orientation began and spent those days with my dad. It was really, really nice to have him here and really, really scary when he left a week later. While he was here we did a lot of the toursity stuff, which was fun, but everything felt overshadowed by my anxiety. I honestly couldn't think about anything other than wishing I was going home with him rather than staying by myself. 

Orientation was really overwhelming as well, and the best way for me to get through it was to tell myself that it didn't apply to me, that I was going to go home. While that helped me get through, it backfired later when I didn't know any of the information I needed. I didn't really make any friends at orientation because I was so overwhelmed and anxious, and it doesn't help that I am already a pretty introverted and shy person. So, the first few weeks were pretty hard when I had no one to hang out with. I spent a lot of those few weeks talking walks and exploring my surroundings, which I now feel like I have a pretty decent handle over. Edinburgh is a really walkable city, which is nice and such a major difference from New York and what I'm used to. I've mostly enjoyed wandering around the city aimlessly with my headphones in - and I've seen a few really cool things. 

One of my favorite things to see is how many kids there are here. The analogy I've been using is New York is to dogs as Edinburgh is to children (shout out to that red vocab book from the 7th grade that had those analogies in them). By that I mean everyone has a kid, like how everyone in New York seems to have a dog (side note: where the hell are people in the city living and keeping dogs??? Lemme know because I really wanna have a dog but I didn't think I'd be able to if I lived in New York, thanks). Anyway, seeing kids really cheers me up and they're all really cute and sometimes have adorable Scottish accents, so that's fun.

This is where I go to school! George Square, where I have a class

I think classes starting made things a little better. It took a few days to get all my classes in order, and this will pretty much be my first week of classes being all in order, despite the fact that it's the third week of school. I spend significantly less time in class here than I do at home - I only take three classes, two of which only meet once a week for two hours. These are my two English classes, which are third year classes and thus categorized as "honours" classes at UoE. Those classes are, so far, pretty similar to what I'm used to at Skidmore, with the biggest difference being the workload. There is only one paper per class, worth 40% of the grade, and then the final exam, worth the remaining 60%. That's totally different from the 3-4 papers I usually write per-class per-semester at Skidmore. The lack of writing and time spent in class, however, is made up for in the amount of reading. So, while I seemingly have more free time than usual I actually have plenty I need to be doing with that time (aka right now).

The third class is a lecture that meets three times a week for an hour. The class is called Scottish Studies, and I'm still not really sure what it's about. Luckily, I have a friend in that class, who's my first friend I've met here in Edinburgh. It's really nice to have him there and to have someone to talk to while I'm here. 

More on campus at UoE. This is Teviot building, which is where the Student's Association is housed.

Despite my difficulty to make friends and my feeling rather lonely, Edinburgh is a very, very pretty place. My flatmates are all also super nice, although it is weird to go from living with my two best friends and two other good friends to four total strangers. Missing people from home is also hard, mostly because of time differences and because it's so expensive for them to come visit. It feels a little bit like I'm stuck here just hoping people I love will come see me, but it costs a lot for them to do that. I've got quite a few friends in Europe this semester, though, and hopefully my best friend who is still in the states will be coming over in April (I bought us both tickets to see our favorite band in Glasgow and I am so excited for that, so hopefully she can come. That is one of the biggest things I've been looking forward to.)

Speaking of April, the craziest thing I've found out is that my last day of classes is April 1! After that, I have two weeks of spring break, a week for revision (aka an entire week of study days - following Skidmore's attempt at passing the weekend off as "study days" last semester) and an entire month for finals. Realizing that has also helped make things feel a little less overwhelming and easier to digest - two months from now I'll be nearly done with classes. 

I don't remember where this is but I took it on a walk. It was snowing.

This past weekend I took a trip to London to visit my friend Madeleine from school, and got to see our friend Madison who is also studying there. It was really nice to see them and really nice to be able to talk to someone who already knows me. It's underrated how exhausting it is to be basically introducing yourself to people all the time. London was cool and the shopping was even better (classic me), but I was surprised at how happy I was to be coming back to Edinburgh on Sunday. It felt nice to be back to the place where I have a bed and feel at least a little settled - so maybe that says something. 

Basically the only real photo I took in London, of Oxford Circus. Will def be back and take more pictures next time.

So, despite a very rocky start and a still slightly questionable first month, I am here, I haven't gone home, and I am doing my best. I think. I have a friend, which is cool, although I still miss mine from home, and I have a room/apartment that I am starting to really identify with as mine. In addition, people have been really kind and helpful, from my friends to the staff on my program who helped me a lot when I came up to them in tears during orientation and said I couldn't do this. They say that there's a curve to studying abroad: that you start off excited, but a few weeks in homesickness settles in for a little while until you feel more comfortable again. I'm kind of hoping I did that whole thing backwards, and that it can go up from here. 

It's past 8pm and I've got an entire novel to read, and this has gotten really long. Until next time! xx g

Ewan McGregor worked at The Last Drop pub, which was across the street from my hotel at orientation.